Kids have a choice in Clothes - Family Tips & Advice

Children regardless girls or boys are dominated by consumerism? TV is a big part of the family, whether we like it or not, and more to that the games console is just as bad. Many years ago, this was not the case, well not altogether true? The only time parents would cringe was at Christmas time? It was a period known as us against them, consumer against retailer, well retailer plus children against parents? You might describe in depth of you disapproval, your "taut" stance, and your governance?

But all this is just a token gesture in the eyes of the warrior child? Because in the end, you gave a good account of yourself, but in vain? Because the onset is; Children will always be the victors?
Back to the future and the size of the war retail machine has increased so much aided by the spider web of the media, no use trying to wriggle your way out of it because we are swamped in it's consumer quick sand and the echoing voices from afar in your ears forever ringing and repeating the deafening screeching noise of "I want that", "can I have that, can I, can I “My best friend Mike has got Nike boots, can I have them? Janine has got the full set of Barbie house and friends, can I have it?
At one time you were safe in the knowledge that power belonged to you, you can choose you can dictate for a while.

Not anymore those good days have gone? to be replaced by a 3yr old sizing themselves up in a mirror or walking in those brand new expensive shoes you have just bought from the shoe shop; Trying to emulate you? Whether they are 3yrs old or 5yrs old, these kids self awareness has evolved much earlier than you think and the "dawning" of consumer madness already in them and flourishing?
Family Tips & Advice
Buy socks all the same colour. It will be less aggravating when your washing machine eats one, and you can't find a mate.
*Buy solid colour clothing items that can be layered and worn with a variety of other pieces. They can be worn more frequently without people thinking you are wearing the same item again.
*Avoid trims and other decorative elements that make the piece of clothing harder to blend with other pieces, and again, more noticeable when worn.
*When buying knitted items, look for strength and durability. The fabric should be more dense than loose, and the stretch should be limited.
*Keep away from trendy items if you want the piece of clothing to last several years and be passed down to another child.
*Look for clothes that can be enlarged as your child grows. Generous hems can be let down. Creases in the hemline can be removed with a little vinegar and a warm iron. The same is true for sleeve lengths with simple sleeves.
*Elastic in the waistband is easily adjusted and fits longer. It is also more comfortable. That is why you see most toddler clothes in this style. Use this when you can on casual clothes for older children. The same is true for adjustable straps for jumpers, overalls, play suits, etc.
*If you can, buy clothes slightly larger than your child. They will quickly grow into them and last longer.
*Don't go shopping without a list. Go through your children's clothes and see what they need. Write it down, and keep to it!
Your children have colours that they like, and look good with just as you do. Look through some catalogues with your child and talk about clothes. It may not be your favourite subject, but a little knowledge may help you avoid "buying mistakes" that sit in the wardrobe unworn.
Starting School
Whether your child is returning to school to start a new year or whether they are going for the first time, there are plenty of things to get organised and prepare for. Even children who love school may feel just a little anxious before going back so reduce any possible stress by being completely sorted and not leaving everything until the last minute.
Are you ready?
Have you thought of and bought or booked the following?
• Uniform
• Sports kit
• Shoes
• School bag and games bag
• Booked school lunches
• Lunch box and flask
• Snack box
• Waterproof coat
• Allergy details for the teacher
• Pens, rulers, pencil case etc
• Haircuts
• Getting together with another child in the same year before the start of term

Preparation
In the first few days your child will face new places, people, rules and relationships. This can be both exciting and frightening.
You can help by familiarising your child with their new environment before school starts:
• Make at least one visit to the school before your child's first day. If possible, arrange to show your child around their new classroom and
Meet their teacher. Take a look at where they'll leave their coat and lunchbox and show them the toilets, playground and hall.
• Talk about each place as you visit it. For some children just looking will be enough. But others, who learn more rapidly through hearing, will
Benefit from your descriptions.
• Find out about the daily routine from the teacher and let your child know what to expect. For example, many schools start with reading on the mat, the daily register and so on. Knowing what's coming next will help your child make sense of their day.
• Lastly, for your own reassurance you could ask the teacher what strategies he or she uses to settle the children.

Plan ahead
If the school has an evening for new parents go along and take note of all the items your child will need on their first day.
Shop for uniform and other equipment early - you're more likely to find things in the right sizes and you'll avoid the crowding of the last week before term starts.
Make the shopping trip into a special event for you and your child and emphasise they're choosing their grown-up school clothes.
The countdown
If your child's in holiday routine - staying up late and rising late - then one week before term begins change their schedule. Gradually bring their bedtime back to a time suitable for school nights and introduce more regular eating habits with meals at set times.
You may need to get into the term-time habit too. Write a list of all the things you'll need to organise, such as dinner money, snacks and lunches, gym clothes, reading folder and painting coverall. Stick the list to the fridge and tick each item off as you sort it out.
Involve your child in getting ready for their first day. The evening before term starts you and your child can work together to lay out their uniform, bag and snacks.
Last of all set your alarm early for the first day - even the most organised parents and children need extra time to get ready for the big event.
Your emotions
your feelings will guide your child's emotions. If you approach your child's first day with confidence that they'll be fine, using positive words about school and loving attention, their anxieties will be reduced.
Saying goodbye at school may be very emotional for you. But try to send your child off with a smile and a wave along with the reassurance that you'll be there to collect them later. Remember even distressed children settle very quickly once you're gone, so make your leave loving but brief. If you're particularly worried, most schools will be receptive if you want to phone in later to check your child is ok.
The end of the day
do make sure you're a little early to collect your child (This goes without saying?) at the end of the first few days - even a few minutes late can seem an eternity to a waiting child. Your child will probably be tired and hungry so a healthy snack and some quiet time, with or without you, will be just what they need after school.
Listen to your child. They'll probably talk about their day in their own time so avoid pressing your child, but do give them opportunities to talk to you.
Confidence building
By the time they reach school age, children develop an established sense of self-esteem. A child with high self-esteem has the confidence to try new things and make friends. A child with low self-esteem has a tougher time in all these areas, and needs extra help from you.
Maintaining your child's confidence
It's still vitally important for you to keep working at building your child's confidence throughout these years, especially as school life and friends may give it a sideways knock.
Suggestions
• Believe in your child and show it - let her know she's a worthwhile, lovable individual.
• Give praise and positive feedback - your child measures her worth and achievements by what you think of her. "Well done, that was hard, and you managed it" is music to young ears. Reassure your child that it's OK to make mistakes and that it's all part of growing up.
• Practise active, reflective listening - listen carefully, repeat what you've heard to make sure you understand and give positive prompts to encourage your child to continue.
• Acknowledge your child's feelings - and help her express them verbally.
• Criticise behaviour, not your child - it's very easy to fall into this trap, but too much criticism tells your child she's a bad person and is causing things to happen because of her own stupidity. This is very damaging if it goes on for a long time. Be clear that it's an action you're angry about or behaviour you don't like.
• Respect your child's interests, even if they seem boring to you - take a genuine interest in your child's friends, and what's happening at school, and comment to show you're listening.
• Accept any fears or insecurities your child expresses as genuine - even if they seem trivial to you, don't just brush them aside. If your child says "I'm useless at maths" say "You're obviously finding maths a struggle, how can I help you?"
• Encourage independence - encourage your child to take chances and try new things. Succeeding gives a huge boost to confidence, and sometimes your child will need to learn by her mistakes.
• Laugh with your child - never at her.
• Focus on your child's successes - swimming, music, whatever she can succeed at.

Are you helping or hindering?
"I told you so" You've warned your child she shouldn't walk across the carpet carrying a cup full of milk and her dinner. She does it anyway, but trips and spills it. It's tempting to say: "Now looks what you've done. I told you that you couldn't do it." Comments such as this make your child feel even worse than she does already for failing at something. Instead, try to give support by saying something like: "Oh no, you tried, but it didn't work.
Never mind. Next time you could carry them one at a time."
Talking about your child It's not only the critical things said directly to your children that can undermine confidence. If your child overhears you tell someone that "she's got two left feet" or "she's so clumsy" they might think you really believe this and feel it can't be changed.
Putting yourself down Things you say about yourself can damage your child's self-esteem. Children learn a great deal from copying adults close to them. If you overreact to situations or pressure, your child may worry that you really can't handle life's challenges. This won't set your child an example of a positive, optimistic attitude to life and how to handle problems.
Thoughtless remarks Think before you speak and choose your words with care - it's very easy to say something without thinking, then wish you hadn't. "You're so clumsy" or "Don't be stupid" can be said in an irritated moment when the cereal is spilled or an innocent question is asked. Too many negative remarks like this can result in children believing they're useless or stupid.
All the following can damage a child's confidence:
• saying you don't love them
• saying you wish they'd never been born
• insults or unkind remarks
• deliberately ridiculing things your child does or feels
• cruel teasing and sarcasm
• endless nagging
• aggressive shouting and swearing
Say "sorry" if you get it wrong
none of us are saints and we all sometimes say something and immediately regret it. If this happens, it's best to admit this to your child. Say: "I should never have said that. It was an unkind thing to say and I don't mean it. I'm just tired." Then have a cuddle and make up.
Bullying
Teasing, some fighting and falling out with friends is a normal part of school-age relationships. But if one child is constantly dominating another, this
Creates a bully-victim relationship Bullies and victims may be unconsciously drawn to each other. Bullying is a big problem for many children.
Parents need to be alert to signs their children are involved in bullying.
Bullies and bullied are both victims
A bully may:
• Tease or hit other children
• Demonstrate a lot of angry behaviour or displays of temper
• Defy parents or teachers
A victim may:
• Find it hard to join in with friends
• Be taken advantage of or teased by other children
• Show some helplessness or be easily upset
• Be timid, shy or different in some way
If you think your child may be a bully
• Teach him or her about respecting other people's rights - don't just assume your child will know this. Constantly stress how others feel, and
How important it is not to do things that make other people feel bad. Try to teach your child to treat others as he or she would like to be treated.
• Have firm rules that don't accept mean or nasty behaviour towards others.
• Teach your child to negotiate. Use role play to teach him how to ask for things he wants rather than forcing his will on others.
• Keep a record of bullying incidents. This will help to identify whether anything in particular is causing your child stress and setting him off.
• Don't use bullying tactics at home to make your child do what you want.
• Make sure you're positive about your entire child's good, cooperative behaviour.
If you think your child may be a victim of bullying
• Explain that bullies are children who may be upset or sad, perhaps because of unhappy events at home.
• Tell your child it's not his fault and explain that no one deserves mean treatment.
• Use role play to teach him how to handle incidents, examples include not showing you're bothered or upset by teasing, saying firmly you
Don’t like it and walking away.
• Explain there's no shame in just keeping out of the bully's way.
• Listen and talk, take the time to listen to your child's worries about the events in his day.
• Be alert to when things seem to get worse - you may need to intervene.
• Build self-esteem by finding activities your child can be good at.
• Always praise your child, especially for acts of courage.
• Don't overprotect your child; it may only make him feel more vulnerable and helpless.
• Is your child dominated at home by siblings, for example? If so, maybe he's used to being treated like a doormat.

What forms does bullying take?
• Verbal - calling names, sarcastic remarks and put-downs
• Physical - hitting, pushing
• Psychological - deliberately excluding from a group, spreading malicious stories
• Threatening - demands for money or toys

Summary
Most bullying takes place in or near schools. If the bullying is serious, you may need to report it to the school. Most schools have a bullying policy and should take clear steps to do something about your complaint. If you're not satisfied, go to the school governors or to your local education authority. If the bullying is very serious, some parents opt to move their child to a different school for a fresh start, or decide to educate at home.